Written by Brother Hicks
Category: Daily Life
Published: 02 August 2013
22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
There is no command in Scripture to use courtship as the way to find a spouse. There are arranged marriages, courtship, and just two people meeting and deciding to marry all mentioned in the Scripture. No process is blessed or given divine authority. I knew a Wesleyan couple who met at seminary and two weeks later were married, all without courtship or dating. They have been married for decades. Obviously dating is not right, because it is basically a sinful practice marriage and often leads to fornication, but please do not let the latest professing Christian fad lead you astray. There are people in arranged marriages that are godly and love their spouse, so believing courtship is the only way to a godly marriage is simply not the case. The best way to a godly marriage is to ensure that both parties are godly, not a certain Christianized method of attracting a spouse.
Some women wonder their role in the man determining he wants them as his wife. There is nothing wrong with a woman of God making her interest in a godly man be known to him, she just needs to avoid the common methods the world uses like flirting and flattery to try win his attention. Also, she needs to be dressing modestly when around her potential suitor, as immodest dress may get his attention, but it will not be the attention that is based on her character, but it will be earthly, sensual, and devilish.
Whatever you do use godly wisdom and realize these truths:
1. You are only eligible to marry if you have never been married or are widowed. The divorced are ineligible and any relationship that they enter into is adulterous (Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18).
2. Marriage is for life and as such must be entered into after much prayer and fasting (Romans 7:2-3; 1 Corinthians 7:39; James 1:5; 1 Thessalonians 5:21).
3. If you are a believer then you can only marry another believer (1 Corinthians 7:39; 2 Corinthians 6:14-16). Your spouse must love Jesus first and foremost. If anything else comes first in a potential spouse's life, including you, then run! Women, this does not mean a guy that professes Christ, but lives like the devil. Your spouse should not be a project or someone that you see potential in, they need to be godly BEFORE you marry them.
"Consider what I say; and the Lord give thee understanding in all things." (2 Timothy 2:7)